So Don’t Judge Me

When you see someone who is overweight in the grocery store bakery section perusing the donuts or picking out a cake, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? Most of you would probably not admit this in a group, or maybe you would, but I’m thinking it’s something along the lines of “Oh, please, no, no, no, just put it back. That is the last thing you need!” I know because I’ve had things like this said to me, but what’s worse is that I’ve also thought them myself about others, even though I know better.

By looking at that person’s size, and judging them based solely on that, you assume they are the stereotypical fat person; only eats junk, hates themselves, depressed, no self-control, slow, lazy, unattractive; and why not? That’s what media has taught us to believe pretty much since the beginning of print.

But why? This is probably someone you’ve never met and know absolutely nothing about. So, why does society generally feel that it’s ok to assume that they are a lesser person (and treat them as such) because of their body size?

The sitcom Mom had one of their characters, Jill, develop an eating disorder, then put her in a fat suit, to hide her pregnancy. In an interview, the actress playing Jill talked about how they handled the eating disorder issue with great sensitivity, however by the end she makes the comment “There’s a big elephant in the room and that elephant is Jill.” That shows how little sensitivity and understanding was actually put into that storyline. There could have been other ways to account for her pregnancy without having her eat everything in sight, transferring her alcoholism to food, which isn’t an equal transfer. You can be an alcoholic and live the rest of your life without drinking any alcohol, but you can’t live the rest of your life without food.

As a species, humans have a tendency to seek the approval of others in their group. By being seen as something other than normal (fat, ugly), or perceiving oneself as such, it is extremely difficult to be seen for the person that you are. This leads to low self-esteem and a negative body image, especially among young females.

There is even a movie called The Duff, duff being a derogatory slang term for the “designated ugly fat friend.” The lead in this movie is cast to be someone of average appearance and normal proportions, telling every girl watching it that if they are average than they are “ugly and fat.” The target audience for this movie is teen girls, who are also the most vulnerable about body image. How many girls have lost some of their self-esteem after watching this movie because they are wondering if they are the duff in their group of friends?  

While there has been a large push for body positivity, we still have a long way to go.